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She made one of the greatest albums of the Nineties -- then what happened?  Appeared in Rolling Stone Magazine.
By Touré.
"One day she said, 'Fuck it.'"
In 1998, when Lauryn Hill was recording her
debut solo album, she was on a mission. "She was
aiming for big hits so she could outshine the
Fugees and outshine Wyclef," says someone
familiar with the sessions. Her 1996 album with
the Fugees, The Score, had sold more than 17
million copies and made her rich and famous, but
something was missing. After The Score, many
perceived Wyclef Jean as the group's musical
genius. Hill began plotting an album of her own
that would change that. "Her solo career wasn't
based on 'I wanna do an album,'" says Roots
drummer Ahmir Thompson. "It was based on not
being Wyclef's side girl."
Twelve million people bought The Miseducation of
Lauryn Hill, and Hill was established as one of
the great female MCs, a quadruple threat: a
rapper as well as a world-class singer,
songwriter and producer. She was critically
acclaimed and extremely rich. In 1998 and '99,
sources say, Hill grossed $40 million from
royalties, advances, touring, merchandising and
other revenues, and pocketed about $25 million
of that. When Hill was thirteen years old, she
already knew she would grow up to become an
entertainer. In '98, Hill became an
international superstar.
Hollywood beckoned her onto the A list. Sources
say she was offered a role in Charlie's Angels,
but she turned the part down, and Lucy Liu took
the job. Hill met with Matt Damon about being in
The Bourne Identity, with Brad Pitt about a part
in The Mexican and with the Wachowski brothers
about a role in the last two films in the Matrix
trilogy. She turned down lots of work. "Lauryn
wasn't trying to do anything," says Pras Michel
of the Fugees, almost lamenting. But she did
begin developing a biography of Bob Marley in
which she was to play his wife, Rita; started
producing a romantic-comedy film set in the
world of soul food called Sauce, in which she
was to star; and accepted a prize part in the
adaptation of Toni Morrison's Beloved but had to
drop out because she got pregnant. The doors
were open for Hill to create a multimedia
entertainment empire of the sort that J. Lo,
Janet and Madonna have built. Hill could have
been J. Lo with political substance. Someone who
once worked with Hill says with regret, "She
woulda been bigger than J. Lo." Instead, she
disappeared.
"I think Lauryn grew to despise who Lauryn Hill
was," a friend says. "Not that she despised
herself as a human being, but she despised the
manufactured international-superstar magazine
cover girl who wasn't able to go out of the
house looking a little tattered on a given day.
Because Lauryn is such a perfectionist, she
always sought to give the fans what they wanted,
so a simple run to the grocery store had to have
the right heels and jeans. Artists are a lot
more calculating than the public sometimes
knows. It don't happen by accident that the
jeans fall the right way, the hat is cocked to
the side just so. All of that stuff is thought
about, and Lauryn put a lot of pressure on
herself after all that success. And then one day
she said, 'Fuck it.' "
In 2000, Hill became close with Brother Anthony,
a shadowy spiritual adviser, then abruptly fired
her management team and the people around her.
In 2001, she recorded her MTV Unplugged 2.0. Few
bought the album, but many talked about how she
could be heard on the record breaking down in
tears and saying, "I'm crazy and deranged. . . .
I'm emotionally unstable," and repeatedly
rejecting celebrity and the illusions that make
it possible. "I used to get dressed for y'all; I
don't do that anymore," she said on the album.
"I used to be a performer, and I really don't
consider myself a performer anymore. . . . I had
created this public persona, this public
illusion, and it held me hostage. I couldn't be
a real person, because you're too afraid of what
your public will say. At that point, I had to do
some dying."
Her honesty was both touching and confusing. She
was rejecting so much of what she'd spent years
being. The only thing that was clear was that
she was suffering. "Artists do fall apart," a
record executive says. "The most commonly held
falsity in the game is that they have it all
together. They fall apart. Look at Mariah,
Whitney, Michael, all the great ones. They all
have a moment where you go, 'Are they really all
there?' And I think Lauryn chose to expose that
to the world."
Until recently, the twenty-eight-year-old Hill
lived in a high-end hotel in Miami with Rohan
Marley, the man she called her husband, and her
four children. Her fourth child was born this
past summer. Sources say that not long ago, Hill
moved out of the hotel and that her relationship
with Marley may be over.
She now insists on being called Ms. Hill, not
Lauryn, and is working on a new album, albeit
very slowly. "I heard from a friend that she
don't really wanna do music right now," Pras
says. "I heard from another friend that she
wants to do a Fugees album."
So what caused the Lauryn Hill of Miseducation,
viewed as regal and brilliant, to morph into the
Lauryn Hill of Unplugged, seen as possibly
unstable, and then into someone willfully absent
from the public? Confidential conversations with
more than twenty friends and industry figures
and a lengthy interview with Pras have clarified
much of what has happened during the five years
since her zenith. "I don't think she's crazy,"
Pras says. "People tend to say that when they
don't understand what someone's going through.
Walk in her shoes, and see what would you do."
Hill was born in 1975 and raised in middle-class
South Orange, New Jersey. By her teens, she was
determined to have a career in entertainment. At
thirteen, she sang on Showtime at the Apollo.
The audience was rough on her, and after the
show she cried. In 1998, her mother, Valerie
Hill, told Rolling Stone about her post-Apollo
talk with her young daughter. "I said . . . now,
if every time they don't scream and holler
you're gonna cry, then perhaps this isn't for
you," Valerie recalled. "And she looked at me
like I had taken leave of my senses. To her, the
mere suggestion that this wasn't for her was
crazy." At seventeen, Lauryn had a role on the
daytime soap As the World Turns; two years later
she appeared in Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
and had a small role in Steven Soderbergh's King
of the Hill. Meanwhile, she was also spending
nights working on music with friends Wyclef Jean
and Pras Michel. She was eighteen when the
band's 1994 debut, Blunted on Reality, flopped,
but, two years later, with The Score, the
Fugees' cover of "Killing Me Softly" made her a
star. She was sex-symbol beautiful, and her
music and public persona seemed politically
savvy and spiritually aware.
After the explosion of The Score, Jean began
recording a solo album. Hill and Pras supported
him emotionally and creatively. But when Hill
started writing her own songs, Jean showed no
interest. Pras says, "I remember when Pepsi
wanted her for a commercial, and they were like,
'All we want is you. We don't need the other two
cats.' She said, 'Without them I'm not doing
it.' There's a lot of things she didn't do
because of the group. Then when she goes to work
on her [music] and she doesn't have the support,
that can have an effect mentally. She felt --
this is based on conversations we had -- she
felt there was no support on that angle. When
you feel the ones you stuck your neck out for
ain't doin' the same for you, it brings a
certain animosity and bitterness."
Once, the three Fugees were close friends, but
now Pras has little good to say about Jean.
"He's the cancer of the [Fugees]," Pras says.
"He's the cancer. You can quote me. He's the
reason why it got wrecked to begin with, he's
the reason why it's not fixed." Is he the reason
for Hill's troubles? "Maybe, indirectly, she's
where she's at because of him," Pras says.
"Maybe. But not directly." Jean politely
declined to be interviewed. "I'm somewhere else
in my head," he says on the phone from his
studio. "Certain things I don't talk about. I'm
in another zone." He pauses. "I wish it didn't
go down the way it went."
Hill responded to an e-mail request for an
interview. "I am not available for free
interviews at this time," she wrote. "The only
interviews I will consider are those that amply
compensate me for my time, energy and story." It
was signed "Ms. Hill." She asks for money,
friends say, because she feels she's been
exploited by the media and the record industry.
When Oneworld magazine contacted her about a
cover story, she demanded $10,000.
People close to the fugees say there has always
been competition between Jean and Hill. "Not
competing for something in particular," says
one. "It's more competing just who's better,
who's greater." Hill's solo music was intended
to settle the matter. When Jean finally came
around and offered his production assistance on
the record, she no longer wanted it. "She said
[to Jean], 'I'm thinking about working with this
producer and that producer,' " a friend says.
"He said, 'Oh, no -- I'm producing your whole
album.' She chewed on that for a minute and then
said, 'Nah, I got my own vision.' That's when
who Lauryn really is started to take form."
At the same time, Hill's love life began to get
really complicated. For years she'd been
clandestinely dating Jean. Their relationship
started long before he married his current wife
and continued afterward. But Pras says, "I think
he was kinda, like, playing with her emotions."
But in the summer of '96, when the Fugees were
on the Smoking Grooves Tour, she met Rohan
Marley, who was on the tour with his brother
Ziggy, both sons of Bob Marley. At first Hill
was uninterested in Rohan -- a former University
of Miami football player -- because she was
still seeing Jean. "Honestly, she didn't even
want the relationship," says a friend. "Everyone
was pushing her towards [Marley] to get her out
of the other thing. They pushed her towards him,
like, 'Why don't you give him a chance, come on,
go out on a date. Just do it,' not knowing that
this man had all this other baggage and drama in
his life."
Pras singled out Hill's first pregnancy as a
turning point for the group. "When she got
pregnant, definitely things started goin' on,"
he says. "Things got crazy." While Hill's
stomach grew, the Fugee camp wondered whether
the baby was Marley's or Jean's. Says a friend,
"The conversation between everyone on the low
was no one knew until that baby came out." The
day Hill went into labor, Jean told a source he
was flying to her side to see his new child.
"People don't know how calculating she can be,"
a friend says. "Lauryn used Ro to pull herself
out of the relationship with Clef, and she
happened to get pregnant. She hoped that baby
was Wyclef's, because it would've forced his
hand. But it wasn't." Hill named her first child
Zion Marley.
For years, Hill claimed that she was married to
Rohan Marley, but at some point after Zion was
born, Hill got another surprise: Someone told
her Marley already had a wife. On March 18th,
1993, when he was a sophomore at the University
of Miami, Marley married an eighteen-year-old
woman from New Jersey in a ceremony in Miami.
"The reason [Hill and Marley] aren't married is
because Ro is already married," says a friend.
Sources say Marley has two children from the
marriage.
Hill decided to ignore it. "I think she was
kinda like, 'Put it in the closet and don't even
pay attention to it,' " says a friend. Rolling
Stone could find no record of the dissolution of
Marley's marriage, and even now it's unclear
whether Hill and Marley were ever married in a
conventional sense. "She has her own rules about
life," another friend says. "According to her,
she's married. Marriage to her is not a piece of
paper, and it's not part of some civilization --
civil-lies-ation. If you say to her, 'You're not
married,' she'll say, 'What, do I have to get a
government official to tell me I'm married?' "
It was critical that on "Miseducation," Hill was
credited as the sole auteur. "That was why she
had to be seen as doing it all herself," says
someone familiar with the sessions. "To show,
'I'm better than [Wyclef]. He's getting credit
as the genius in the group. I'm the genius in
the group.' "
But when musicians collaborate in the studio,
it's often difficult to establish exactly who
has written what. "It gets real gray in the
studio," one artist says. At the time, people
close to her suggested Hill needed documentation
that would define everyone's role, but she was
against the idea. "Lauryn said, 'We all love
each other,' " a friend says. " 'This ain't
about documents. This is blessed.' "
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October 30, 2003.
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