The present usually appears as a changing scenario in which the old paradigms hang by a tread and, as acrobats, try to invent tricks so as to stay hardly on their feet when they begin to loose solid foundations on which being supported. Something that was hidden there starts taking shape, illuminating, and a new view towards an uncertain and full of possibilities destiny arises.
Up to now, friendship was thought as an auxiliary tie to the family, something that allowed a situational alternation and that only played in the human projection the role of relaxation and company. During the last times, the crises in the traditional models of life have made us examine some of their strengths. The fact that it is identified as a factor of longevity, for instance, can be seen as a shy step to a deeper reevaluation, or an invitation to a questioning about all the pre-notions which are so naturalized by a more and more obsolete conservativeness. It is a fact to emphasize regardless the matching of these results with reality, even more if we bear in mind that not too long ago, a shameless piece of French research stated that “married people live longer”, neutralizing the influx of any other relationship.
In a culture as ours, life seems to be thought as a form full of blanks in which marriage and parenting are natural needs that “arrive” in a certain moment, we should only answer the calling of that “biological clock”. When this happens, friends, all those so essential links take the second position. From this moment on, the emotional environment seems to be compressed and focused, giving up in this way an influence which would bring much richness. The priorities change, as well as the way of administrating energy, time and will, without achieving, in general terms, an authentic harmony. It is even interesting to observe how the lack of a partner makes many people define themselves as “alone”. Not only does the expression “I am alone” show the poor value given to friends within the personal balance, but also the construction of an identity exclusively limited to that condition (having or not having a partner). The cloying metaphor of the “better half” makes reference to that simplicity in which one appears to be complemented with an only person, leaving aside a whole framework of relationships. That slide evidences the scarce expectations placed in a bond that could be transcendental to built oneself in a more complex manner.
As an answer to this panorama, less conventional initiatives start to acquire visibility, gradual retouches of the model in crisis which try precisely to recover the lost sustainability. Although those objections decompress the problem in many cases, they do not propose an overpowering solution. Limiting oneself to diagram changes within the traditional archetypes in order to try to understand and overcome their disarrangements is, many times, similar to disassemble an alarm clock so as to understand the idea of time. Nowadays, despite the figures of openness and dialogue which do not support a thoughtful view, to daydream with the idea of projecting oneself outside the established canons seems a sample of selfishness and individuality, when in fact this vibe is exactly the prelude of a truly positive incidence in the world centered in strong and genuine bonds.
Friendship, this unexplored bond which has not shown all its potentialities yet, here plays an essential role.
Instead of naturalizing these destinies, which are more and more ephemeral, it is worth thinking about the possibility of being inspired by other type of imaginaries, of building other iconographies. To allow oneself the creativity for new dispositions in which a group of multiple relationships could contribute to create a spirituality according to our times. Perhaps in this panorama of veiled collapse, the re-elaboration of friendship as a medullar nucleus of emotional life is the most encouraging bet we can find.