Miércoles 7 de Diciembre de 2005, Ip nº 138

Even Movie Stars Aren't Immune
One nice thing that Helen Fielding did for us was to come up with some terrific shorthand. All Bridget Jones had to do was scratch the words "Smug Marrieds" into her diary, we all knew who she was describing and how many glasses of wine we've wanted to pour on their floors.

There are other easily captured and annoying groups, the Sensitive Dads, Superior Mothers, and Bragging Creatives, for instance. Recently, a new type of personality sandpaper has begun to abrade: Snotty Celebrity Mom. As a quick glance at the newsstand will tell you, the age of the celebrity mother is in full swing and no matter where you look, there's a beautiful, complacent, big name mother gazing down her nose while spreading her particular form of wisdom.

I wonder why Madonna feels she needs to spread the news about her Mommy Dearest-esque parenting techniques. (Apparently, if her daughter leaves her clothes on the floor, Madonna takes away all of her outfits and forces her to wear the same thing to school every day until the child "earns" back her garments, bit by bit.) Are we expected to applaud her for being such a hard-ass? Is there some glamour in this that I'm missing? Why on earth is this something to brag about? Pulled out of context, out of the life in question and out of the moment that the bad behavior happens, all disciplinary techniques sound absolutely ridiculous and Madonna here just sounds a bit odd.

Another voice that is becoming all too familiar is that of Gwyneth Paltrow. While everyone deserves to be happy, the courtesy they do to everyone else is to shut up about how fabulous they and all their decisions are for a moment. She appears in InStyle magazine this month raving about her child's wonderful schedule that she only occasionally tampers with, the rare pleasures of Goodnight Moon and the bliss that is being a mother. How could anyone begrudge her any of these things, you ask? What kind of a sourpuss am I for lifting an eyebrow at Paltrow's hard-earned joy? Why for this little superior comment she tosses out: "I sort of look at some peers of mine and I think, 'No, you've got it all wrong.' I just want to tell them all to have babies and be happy, and not get sucked into that Hollywood thing."

Now that my disgust has diminished and I am more disposed to be amused, I suppose Gwyneth is really doing us all a favor by reducing movie stars to our level. All through our lives there are friends and relatives, Smug Marrieds and Sensitive Dads who want us to do exactly what they do, because, they would have us believe, they have done the Right Thing and like so many cultists, want to convert people to Their Way of Thinking. Forget that you might have a different agenda and other things beside marriage and kids on your mind.

How nice to see that even superstars have the Cloying Nags in their midst, who can make the most exclusive red carpet affair a small circle of Hell.

  29/11/2005. Gawker.